Vol. 4, No. 9

Greetings, fellow travelers, and welcome to the ninth posting of volume four of the Blog.  This week, a group of folks in Vatican City begin the process of selecting a new leader of the Roman Catholic Church.  It is a tough task, especially when the last guy just resigns without warning.  However, these people can't even agree on when to go behind closed doors and make said selection.  The rules say 15 to 20 days after the Pope dies (or resigns),  However, with Easter at the end of the month, some are suggesting a earlier time.

For some of you, a prophecy hangs over their heads.  It goes back to 1590, when a set of Latin mottoes were supposedly discovered in the Vatican Archives.  According to legend, they were written down by a saint named Malachy, who wrote them down after a vision he had during a visit to Rome in 1139.  The listing of 112 Latin phrases have often been held by many as truthful.  However, most people think that they were a means of promoting a candidate for Pope back during a conclave that year.  However, these phrases have an extra notice this time around.

You see, if each phrase is one pope each, Pope Benedict XVI is the second-to-last phrase listed.  The next one, the last one, tells that a man named Peter the Roman will take over the church, destroy it, and then usher in the end of the world.  You can see the fear many people have about the upcoming conclave.  It's the same fear that came with the supposed Mayan prediction last year.  However, some take comfort from the fact that part of this last phrase is often considered a separate sentence, telling of unnamed popes between Benedict XVI and this last one.

The use of prophecies is a strange art practiced throughout the ages.  To predict what will happen next is useful, when science and math are used to predict outcomes.  However, the use of mysterious methods to predict future events is what a lot of people believe in.  My own mother believes that dreams can predict the future.  A medium once told her she'd have three kids.  At this point, I'm still an only child.  Some people point out successful predictions but ignore the millions of predictions that were wrong.  The law of averages would rule out these method as predictors of the future.

While cardinals gather in Rome to select a pope, the people of Venezuela will also be electing a new leader.  On Tuesday, Hugo Chavez died at age 58 from cancer.  Like in this country, the Vice President is now the leader until the next election, which is in 30 days.  Chavez was an interesting figure.  While he managed to raise the living standards of his people and made the country a wealthy one, he was also known for his anti-U.S. rhetoric.  He spoke out against American interference in the affairs of Central and South America.  However you view him, he was a great leader and he will be missed by the world at large.

In space news, there was the launch of a SpaceX Dragon to the International Space Station.  There was a problem after it got into orbit when a computer glitch causes the solar panels not to deploy.  Instead, the spacecraft entered a version of safe mode.  Eventually, everything was fixed and the capsule made it to the space station in good shape.  The business of space may be in private hands now but that doesn't mean that a few mistakes are gonna happen.  I would still like a ride on the Dragon when it becomes a people carrier in a few years.

For those of you who haven't read my previous entries, I am a big supporter of same sex marriage.  Right now, two states, Rhode Island and Illinois, are fighting to become the tenth state to legalize it.  However, the bills for such action are tied up in their legislatures.  However, my home state of Michigan might beat them there.  On Thursday, a federal court heard arguments in a case that may overturn the state's marriage ban.  Ironically, the case started out as one on same-sex parent adoption and the judge in that case upped the stakes to take on the ban.  I have a feeling I will be living in a same-sex marriage state soon.

Now, with the non-fiction business out of the way, we move to the next installment of "Two Weeks in Peoria".  I'll be honest, I've lost count of how many parts this story has done.  Let's just summarize the last few weeks.  Oddley, has been on the road with a runaway housewife named Wanda Lee, who is trying to find herself.  The trip goes smoothly until Oddley gets run over.  However, the car is driven by his best friend, Ogden, also on the run from a farmer with a shotgun wedding.  Ogden takes them to the house of a high school teacher he is living with now.  When we left off, Oddley got a shock when Ogden revealed that said teacher was, in fact, a split personality when her alter shows up...

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I couldn't believe what Ogden had told me.  He was right, you know.  The transformed version of Dr. Milner, Gilda, and my sister couldn't be counted as personalities.  They were just sex-crazed creatures.  This person in front of me was a person within a person.  I was interested in this.

"Meet Rita Louise, a darling personality, so to speak." said Ogden.

"Nice to meet you, Rita." I said.

"Charmed, dear.  I take it you're the same Oddley he's been talking my ear off about." said Rita.

"I am.  Oddley James Mitchell at your service, ma'am." I said.

"And I'm Wanda Lee Melvin." said Wanda Lee.

"Pleased to meet you.  You look like a nice lady." said Rita.

"I am." said Wanda Lee.

"Ogden, which one of the... personalities... did you meet first?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Rita here.  She gave me a good time when I came to Peoria." he replied.

"When did you meet Lisa?" I then asked.

"The next day.  Lisa screamed as loud as she could when she found me on her couch." he said.

"Not in her bed?" I said without fail.

"I started there but moved to the couch after a while." said Ogden.

"I gave him one.  Then, I asked him to go to the couch." said Rita.

"I soon learned why.  Lisa doesn't know about... " said Ogden.

"She still thinks she's a virgin." said Rita with a giggle.

"No crap." I said.

"Rita, do yourself a favor and change out of those clothes." said Ogden.

"You're right.  These just aren't me." said Rita, before she ran back upstairs without fail.

"Ogden, can I talk to you alone for a minute?" I asked him as I placed my arm around his neck and squeezed it.

"Sure, Oddley." he said through strained voice.

"Ogden, we're the best of friends, are we not?" I asked, squeezing tighter.

"Yes, Oddley, we are." he said in now a whisper of a voice.

"Then why didn't you call me and tell me where you were all... this... time?!?" I said, squeezing hard enough but not too hard enough to kill him.

"I... forgot." he got out before I released him.

"You forgot?  I know my phone number.  You spent two months memorizing it by heart." I said.

"I was having so much fun with Rita, I just forgot.  In fact, I remembered this morning and I called your place and you didn't answer." he said.

"Were you gonna repeat that this evening?" I asked him point blank.

"I was.  I was going to." he said.

"I'll just hope you're telling me the truth, for I'd hate to kill you." I said.

"You just would." he said in his usual mocking tone.

"Guys, I hate to interupt your little convo here but I'd like to know what's next for us?" said Wanda Lee, walking over to us.

"Give me a minute to figure it out." I said.

"With him, it's more like an hour." said Ogden.

"We don't have an hour." said Wanda Lee.

"If you remember, we don't have a place to go.  The whole purpose of this trip was to find yourself.  I was just the stowaway you found in your back seat." I said.

"I wish I was in your back seat." said Ogden.

"If he was the one, he would have sweet talked you into intercourse by now.  I know him.  He could do it." I said.

"Give me some credit.  I would treat her with kid gloves.  I think it's a nice thing she wants to find herself.  I think more women her age should." said Ogden.

"My age?" said Wanda Lee, a little ticked off.

"Leave it alone, Ogden.  Just leave it." I said.

"If you insist, Oddley.  I did have a couple more zingers." he said.

"Tell me later." I said.

"Here I am." said Rita as she returned down the stairs.

I was a bit stunned by Rita's real outfit.  The centerpiece was a red turtleneck with a built-in short skirt, which hung straight down.  On top of that was a nice brown vest with fringe and some love beads dotted her neck.  I also noticed that she was wearing a pair of boots.  Her hair was now in tossed curls and falls and her face had a nice layer of make-up.  I remember all that detail because it was a look I saw a lot.  More on that later.

"Rita... " I managed to say.

"Now this is me." said Rita, posing a bit on the stairs.

"I can see that." I said.

"I see I'm having an effect on you, Oddley." said Rita.

"Just a little.  I mean, the way you dress is... " I said.

"Different from Lisa?  I know.  She just can't dress like I do.  I leave her pieces of my wardrobe and she just tosses them aside." said Rita.

"Well, now that we have met a split personality, now what should we do?" said Wanda Lee.

"That's a good question." said Ogden as he walked back over to the stairs.

"What do you suggest?" I asked him as he guided Rita to the bottom of the stairs.

"Well, maybe you can stay here." he said after a moment.

"I don't know.  What if Lisa comes back?" said Wanda Lee.

"Don't worry.  I think I can hold her back for two weeks." said Rita.

"Two weeks?" I said.

"I once held her back for two months.  Two weeks is nothing to me." said Rita.

"What about places to sleep?" asked Wanda Lee.

"Well, Oddley can have my place." said Ogden.

"Where will you sleep now?" I asked him.

"He can sleep with me now." said Rita with the biggest smile on her face.

"Wait a minute, isn't Lisa a school teacher?" I remembered.

"I can teach just like her.  They don't even notice the difference.  I just wear her things with my style." said Rita.

"What about me?  Where will I sleep?" asked Wanda Lee.

"There's an empty bedroom up there.  I'm sure you can squeeze yourself in there." said Rita.

"Then it's settled.  We're bunking here." I said.

"Nice to have you here, Oddley." said Ogden.

"I guess we have no choice here." said Wanda Lee.

"Cheer up, Wanda Lee.  Now I can stick with your efforts to find yourself." I said.

So it was settled there.  Me and Wanda Lee were now houseguests of Ogden and his new girlfriend, or half-girlfriend Rita.  It was becoming very weird to me, even more weird than the whole mess with the nympho-drops.  The nympho-drops.  I still have that bottle with me.  I remembered it just a few minutes after we decided to stay.

As I studied it once more, I remembered how it caused me to leave Chicago, to leave my life.  I then began to think about it more.  I remembered how a teaspoon of the stuff turns a normal woman into a sex-crazed maniac, nailing everything it saw.  The doseage stuck in my mind as my stomach spoke out once more for something to eat.

"Say, Rita, why don't you fix our guests some dinner?" asked Ogden at around 5:00 pm.

"I'll get right on it, my darling companion." said Rita as she rushed off to the kitchen like a pixie.

Ogden was a man whose mind was all about getting the girls and making sweet love with them.  Now, he was acting like Rita had always been by his side.  She wasn't even a person half the time.  Imagine going through life as a split personality.  Always dealing with the missing time, the mistaken identifications, and the discovery of what you did when you weren't around.

As we watched some more television, my nose took in the smells of cooking.  I was guessing at what was being made and smelling roast, mashed potatoes, and the lot.  My stomach is eating into me with each sniff.  Rita must be a wonderful person to have around.  I was wanting to learn more about her.  Luckily, I had a chance when dinner was served at 6:00 pm sharp.

"It was nice of you to make us dinner, Rita." said Wanda Lee as we all sat down at the table.

"It was no problem for me.  I just adore all of us, especially my darling companion Ogden here." said Rita, messing up Ogden's hair as he chose a spot next to her.

"So, you met him just a week ago and now, you two live together." I said.

"Well, Ogden told me about his problem with the farmer and I just couldn't resist helping him out." said Rita.

"I take it you like to help people." I said.

"I do.  It's just part of my nature.  I see someone in need and I must help them." she said.

"Even a man who's a hundred miles from where he belongs?" I asked her.

"Even that.  Ogden has told me stories about you two." she said.

"Then you must realize that Ogden will have to go back to Chicago at some point." I said.

"No, he's staying here forever." she said with the eyes of a lovesick puppy.

"If you insist.  Forbid me if I broke up true love." I said.

"How do you know it's true love?" asked Wanda Lee.

"I just know.  Don't ask me how I know." said Rita.

"Me, neither." said Ogden.

"Can we just eat our food?" I said.

"Let us eat then." said Ogden.

And eat we did.  We ate all that was on our plates.  It was good food.  My mind can still taste each bite.  The evening turned into night before long and we sat there watching the Monday night shows on television.  Each was an event to be watched.  Then, bedtime rolled around without notice and all retired to their appointed beds.

I watched Wanda Lee head upstairs with her suitcase and I watched Ogden scurry his way up them.  Meanwhile, I started to settle in on the sofa while Rita looked on.  Every few moments as I settled in, I look over at her and see a look of interest on her face.  Finally, I got settled in and was ready to head to dreamland.  However, that was interrupted by Rita leaning over the sofa.

"Ready for bed, I see?" she asked.

"I am.  Just need to close my eyes." I said.

"Every time I close my eyes, I wonder if it'll be me that wakes up." she said.

"I thought you said you could hold back Lisa." I said.

"I did.  However, that's sooner said than done.  I'm afraid to do things because of her." she said.

"Don't worry about it.  I'm sure it'll be you waking up tomorrow morning." I said.

"Thanks, Oddley.  Ogden was right about you." she said.

I then heard Rita slowly walk her way up the stairs.  With the last of the day out of the way, I closed my eyes tight.  What a day I'd had.  First, I'm chased by my sister, who'd turned into a sex-crazed creature.  Then I end up with a housewife running away to find herself and end up leaving Chicago.  Then, I get to Peoria and get run over by my best friend, who I'd thought wouldn't see again.

Then he takes me to this house, where we meet the owner.  We then find out that the owner is also a split personality and that split personality is in love with him.  Let me tell you, it was a long day for me.  Now, though, I was glad that it was over as I entered the world of my dreams. 

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Day one of Oddley's sudden vacation in Peoria comes to an end.  For us, it had been a nice month for us.  However, Oddley has more of this story for you.  The twists and turns ahead are nothing short of spectacular.  Come back next week of another installment of "Two Weeks in Peoria", as we continue to have Oddley tell just part of his exciting life story.  I, for one, am dying to hear how Oddley is gonna spend the next two weeks.

Now, to end this week's posting.  We have seen a lot this week.  With the upcoming papal conclave starting on Tuesday, all will gather next to the Sistine Chapel with an eye to the roof as we await the next leader of one billion Catholic the world over.  As the world seems to be spinning out of control and we enter the Crazy Times, remember to keep your sanity in midst of it all.  It may come in handy as the world enters a new age.  If it is better or worse is up to the seven billion homo sapiens walking around today.

Join me next week, won't you?
Yours truly, John Maxwell.
Your Fellow Traveler.